Well given the major upgrade to the Royal Enclosure thanks to Simon Procter, image maker extraordinaire it was a distinctly less asbo Ascot than last year. The Wonder from Down Under – or Black Caviar won her 23rd race in a row, so that netted me an overwhelming £2. It was still a photo finish so she can’t rest on her laurels just yet. I was rather curious how horses deal with jet lag so did some swotting up: they don’t suffer from it at all and it’s even argued that the melatonin spurs them on…A brief diversion here, I learnt at the Red Cross Snake Farm in Bangkok a few years back that they process anti-venom through a horse’s system. Amazing beasts, we can mildly abuse them in just so many ways.

Ascot really is an entertaining day out – oh the British at play, from all social strata. And that blimmin train from Waterloo – the party bus: oh the joy of being squashed in between a bunch of Etonian types with far too much to say, far too audibly. And a posse of shrieky birds. And a train driver who just does’t turn up. And we were late because of the hour long ticket queue. Bah. I don’t really do pics of myself but I was totally screwing at this point so it deserves a brief airing. But a spot of quality people watching will entertain me for hours so it was a quick turnaround to good mood. You’ve gotta join in and give a bit though so I piled it on thick.