How to get 2012 tickets…

I’ve been asked so many times about how to lay your hands on tickets for the Olympics now things are hotting up. I’m not a tout nor Locog, but I do have a tip: forget jabbing away trying to get that ruddy site to unearth some secret stash for the men’s 100m final. Forget trying to compete with the rest of Britain online. Be cool, join our continental friends at Belgium House and French House and get in the very brief line and buy tickets through them. They have an official quota for expats and visitors – and they won’t discriminate against rosbiffs, they’ll happily flog them to you in £s or €s. (and it’s a good opportunity to practise your GCSE French recalling all those sports you didn’t really play over le weekend when you were 14 yrs old: j’ai jouer le judo, vraiment!)

Go there in the morning, otherwise don’t be surprised if they only have £500+ tickets left – and stop dicking around on the www in vain.